


Gabe's Guide To: Removing Cooties

by swampfairies



Category: Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-12 03:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2093430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swampfairies/pseuds/swampfairies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabe has been king of the playground since kindergarten started a month ago. Everyone goes to him when they need advice and it just so happens that Mikey has discovered that Pete is infected with cooties.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gabe's Guide To: Removing Cooties

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I found in my drafts that I had written about two or so years ago. If you see any mistakes please let me know and I hope you enjoy it!

Gabriel Saporta is the oldest kid in kindergarten. Granted, it’s only by three days with Andy in a close second, but he’s the oldest and that makes him boss. Gee Way, the oldest kid in the first grade, even told Gabe that he’s the _king of the playground_ because he’s deciding to hand the throne down to somebody who has a lot of leadership skills. Mostly it was because Gee’s mom won’t let him play outside for the rest of the year and he stays inside to color, but it was still a big deal to the kids in Miss Janet’s class of twenty.

The teachers of other grades always thought it was strange to see the kindergartners separated into groups of five or so while on the playground. There was always one boy who would sit at the top of Giganta the robot. He would always seem to have one child sitting across from him with wonder and amazement in their eyes. Whatever the six year olds had to talk about must have been thrilling for their age. Then there was the one boy who seemed to not really belong at all, who just sat in the car-shaped sandbox and stared at the ground until it was time to go back inside.

Another thing that the teachers were baffled by was that there was only one female in the grade. The children call her ‘Vicky’ or ‘Vicky T’, but she ignores any adult who calls her the nicknames. Teachers refer to her as ‘Miss Asher’ on the child’s own insistence.

They figure that children just like to be with the people they have the most common with. Gabe sees it as everyone being separated into bands or groups because that’s how they’re meant to be until they’re all separated to never see each other again in their new bands or groups.

After snack time is always play time. Sometimes it’s inside and sometimes it’s outside but when it’s outside, Miss Janet always has more trouble keeping Gabe away from the windows during story time or show and tell.

When Miss Janet _finally_ opens the door to the playground, the kids all rush out at once. Mikey’s group always sits on the rainbow carousel; Gabe’s old group always sits two-a-seat on the swings; Patrick’s group always hangs upside-down on the monkey bars; Bill’s group always sit on the bouncy rides; Mark always sits alone in the sandbox. Nobody liked the sandbox because Gee told Gabe there is ‘arthropods, also known as the simple crustacean’ residing in the sand.

As soon as Gabe got settled into his robot, he peers down and sees Mikey looking up at him.

“Can I come up?” Mikey questioned.

Gabe looks at Mikey with judgmental eyes before nodding and scooting to the front of the robot to make room for Mikey.

“Things not going good?”

“Gee made you king for a reason, right? I know my brother never does something without a reason but I don’t know if you can help,” he says as he cleans his glasses on his shirt.

Gabe crosses his arms and frowns at Mikey. “Of course I can help, little Way.”

Mikey places his glasses back on his nose and looks down through the bars of the robots head towards the monkey bars. Gabe twists around and looks to see and his eyes light up as he says, “If you’re wanting into their group you have to ask them. Unless it’s somebody in the group, then I can help.”

Mikey nods vigorously and points at Pete quickly. “Him. Pete has… well he has something bad.”

“Ghosts? A blankie? The flu?”

“No,” Mikey says. “He has cooties.”

“Cooties!” Gabe shrieks. Everyone on the playground turns to look up at Gabe’s kingdom and knows somebody has it. All of the kids scatter and are separated by at least two feet, just to be safe.

Gabe frowns and looks at Mikey honestly as he says, “This calls for professional help, little Way.”

 

During lunch the next day, Gabe scouts out Mrs. Rutherford’s class for the one person who can help with Mikey’s problem. Sitting at the end of the table is the one that teachers whisper about and call the ‘Ritalin kid’ when they think nobody is listening. Gabe taps him on the shoulder and is faced with the one and only Frank.

Frank’s a short over-hyper kid who hangs around Gee a lot because they’re in the same grade. They’re in different classes so it makes Frank cool that he scouts out Gee, just so they can play toy soldiers together.

As Frank takes a bite of his PB & J, he smiles at Gabe knowingly. Once he washes down his sandwich with some juice, Frank scoots over for Gabe to sit.

“How are things going, king of the playground?”

Gabe hangs his head and mutters, “Not as good as they were two days ago, Frank.”

Frank seems upset over this and just has to know what’s up. Maybe Gee and he can help out.

“Well what is it?” he demands.

Gabe looks around to make sure nobody is listening before he whispers, “Mikey says Pete has cooties.”

Frank giggles. “Reminds me of the good ol’ days when Gee said _I_ had cooties. Remember when I told you about that?” Gabe nods so Frank continues. “Just do those things I told you about until one of them works! If nothing gets rid of it then tell Pete to give it to somebody else.”

Gabe nods again and says very seriously (as serious as a six year old trying to remove cooties can be), “Thanks, Frankie.”

 

That afternoon at the playground, Gabe calls for a meeting. Bill, Mikey, Patrick and Vicky huddle their groups together around Gabe as quick as possible.

“There is an issue right here on our very own playground,” Gabe begins.

He pushes up the sleeves on his shirt to his elbows and makes a fist. He pounds his fist in the air as he says, “I am king of the playground and I am going to protect my fellow kindergartners!” Gabe then points one finger at Pete and one at Mikey.

The crowd all goes “Oooooo!” at once and scatters immediately, leaving just Pete and Mikey. They follow Gabe up to the top of the robot and all squish together in the cube.

Gabe looks at Pete and says, “Mikey told me that you have the cooties.”

“Did not!” Mikey shouts.

“Did too!” Gabe shouts back.

“Did _not_!” Mikey shouts louder.

Gabe looks at Mikey and whispers “Did _too_.”

Pete looks horrified and whether it’s because of the shouting or that he has cooties is unknown to everybody but Pete himself. Gabe leans near Pete and scoots back when he’s inches away. “I can hear them!” Pete looks down and frantically rubs his arms and legs, eyes wide and frightened.

“It’s worse than I thought,” Gabe sighs and says, “You have a bad case of the cooties and I wasn’t able to get Gee’s cootie remover in time to save you.”

Gabe thinks for a moment and calls attention for all of the groups to circle around Giganta.

“I have confirmed that Pete has the cooties but there are a few things I need to tell you all before you start to panic,” Gabe calls.

He grabs the bars on the wall and leans forward. “There are three ways to get cooties: being touched by a girl, touching something a girl has touched and finally being wicked gay. Vicky-T is obviously not included in the first to rules but the question I have for you Pete is how did you get cooties?”

Pete stands up and walks towards the front of the robot head. He looks at his friends and eyes Joe sitting on the swing set with his finger up his nose. Joe removes his finger and focuses his eyes back on the robot head where Pete, Gabe and Mikey are.

He looks around a second time and says, “I have the cooties because I’m wicked gay for Mikey Way,” then giggles because it rhymes. He pulls Mikey forwards and kisses him quickly and whispers in Mikey’s ear, “Now you’ve got the cootie lock.”

Pete climbs down the ladder to the second level, and then down to the first and makes a run for the gate. Right as he reaches it, Miss Janet is pulling it open. He pushes past her and runs into the classroom.

On days when the kids go outside for play time, they have a few minutes inside to settle down before continuing with the rest of their day. Pete stays clear from Mikey and Gabe for those few minutes until Miss Janet says they’re going to learn their alphabetical order when she explains as how they’re ordered by their last name.

As Pete believes, God loves him so much right now, because his seat is next to Mikey’s. They smile at each other and when Miss Janet puts toys out on the tables for them. Pete and Mikey decide to play with the cars together. Pete blushes and hands Mikey the blue car. Pete has never let anybody be the blue car before and when Pete lets Mikey use it, he totally feels like a million bucks.


End file.
